http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/Self-absorbed ramblings, what do you expect?en-AUMokoFeed10http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/http://data5.blog.de/design/preview/47/9ca40bec8ab443838fc70dc6eab1c9_160x200.jpghttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2008/07/25/away-with-the-pixies-lol-4495367/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2008-07-25:/2008/07/25/away-with-the-pixies-lol-4495367/Fri, 25 Jul 2008 04:47:28 +0200 <p>Yes, I know I haven't been around since my twee christmas message... Its not like I've been busy, just unmoved I guess. I do miss it here sometimes. But I just can't get into it, I feel empty of my normal motivation to blog about my life.<br> Thank you to all my firends who haven't dropped me from their friend lists becuase of my absence. You are all so wonderful <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"><br> I want to come back one day with the same passion I once had. I just think it'll take time.<br> Big hugs to all, especially Wensum because its his birthday soon <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"><br> I shall return lol.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2008/07/25/away-with-the-pixies-lol-4495367/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2008/07/25/away-with-the-pixies-lol-4495367/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/12/24/merry_christmas_get_festive_with_your_ba~3487308/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-12-24:/2007/12/24/merry_christmas_get_festive_with_your_ba~3487308/Mon, 24 Dec 2007 19:38:10 +0100 <p><a href="http://www.laurellkhamilton.org/" title="Cosy Christmas For One"><img src="http://data3.blog.de/media/771/2233771_85fb5bd10e_m.jpg" alt="Cosy Christmas For One" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/12/24/merry_christmas_get_festive_with_your_ba~3487308/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>laurell-k-hamiltonseasonal-bitings-to-allhttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/12/24/merry_christmas_get_festive_with_your_ba~3487308/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/12/03/someone_s_cranky~3386939/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-12-03:/2007/12/03/someone_s_cranky~3386939/Mon, 03 Dec 2007 09:58:43 +0100 <p><a href="http://www.laurellkhamilton.org" title="Anita Blake"><img src="http://data3.blog.de/media/915/2187915_caf33d5753_m.jpg" alt="Anita Blake" vspace="5" hspace="5"></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/12/03/someone_s_cranky~3386939/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/12/03/someone_s_cranky~3386939/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/11/21/title~3329399/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-11-21:/2007/11/21/title~3329399/Wed, 21 Nov 2007 10:24:26 +0100 <p><br> <a href="http://belladonnasdarkgraphics.com" title="/astrological/pisces.png"><br> <img src="http://s4.photobucket.com/albums/y104/vampgoddess30/comment%20tags/astrological/pisces.png" border="0" alt="/astrological/pisces.png"></a><br> <img src="http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y104/vampgoddess30/promote/1.gif" alt="Myspace Editors" border="0"><br> <a href="http://belladonnasdarkgraphics.com/" title="Myspace Images">Get Goth & Dark Comments from belladonnasdarkgraphics.com</a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/11/21/title~3329399/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/11/21/title~3329399/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/11/20/alone_again_but_it_s_about_as_natural_as~3324382/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-11-20:/2007/11/20/alone_again_but_it_s_about_as_natural_as~3324382/Tue, 20 Nov 2007 11:21:38 +0100 <p>After spending three days together with no time limit, no bedtime, nowhere to be, just reconnecting and relaxing and loving each other, this week is a big fat shock to the system. He's gone again two hours away to some deadend town to work with his boss for three days. I'm at a loss I guess. Especially after having him with me 24/7 for a while.<br> Our anniversary trip was amazing... all we did was have long baths, make love, talk, read, sleep in and eat. It was our idea of heaven. We're still the only couple we know who could spend three days in an isolated cabin in the rainforest, with no TV, DVD's, phone, cell reception, or anything, and not only love it but think it was great, never run out of stuff to talk about, and not even get a little sick of each other. lol It was perfect. Nathon cooked for me most of the time, and it turns out he is the master of the Barbeque lol. We stayed in the bath for hours until we got pruny, ate breakfast every morning on the balcony overlooking the rainforest, snuggled up on the lounge under the doona and talked for ages listening to dodgy 80's music lol.<br> Now I'm all alone again, eating microwaved leftovers, hugging his pillow for company and haning on his calls from the hotel lobby. I hate it. I want him home, and I want this stupid training fortnight to be over with already. I want hugs and kisses that are not detailed over the phone, I want to go to bed and wake up with him every day. I want to watch Criminal Minds on Wednesday and have him there to hold me if I get scared. I don't want to shower alone, or make eggs for one for dinner every night this week. But I won't get what I want for a goodly while yet and there's no use being a whingy sook about it.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/11/20/alone_again_but_it_s_about_as_natural_as~3324382/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/11/20/alone_again_but_it_s_about_as_natural_as~3324382/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/11/16/am_i_wrong_here~3304002/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-11-16:/2007/11/16/am_i_wrong_here~3304002/Fri, 16 Nov 2007 03:49:42 +0100 <p>I'm not going home for Christmas this year. We're not going to Nathon's either. We're staying home so we can have our very own Christmas for the first time, in our own house, together, alone. i know it will be amazing and beautiful.<br> BUT....<br> But my mum wants me to come home. She's afraid of looking worse than my mother-in-law so she's doing a more subtle number than she normally would. So far for the past three months EVERY conversation we have has a mention of what I'm doing for Christmas... she's tried coaxing me with gifts and shopping, tried to guilt me with 'I can't buy things on my own for Christmas' which is horse hooey because even when I help her shop she never listens to me anyway. She's tried to guilt me into coming becuase if I don't my dog may die before I get back home (he's not knocking on heavens door, apart form a managable pooper problem he's A+ healthy). She even made me feel guilty for leaving her alone at Christmas with dad, who is the Grinch who ignored Chrismas completely. But heck, she married him. She stayed with him when she knew it would have been better for her and I to not be with him anymore. She took him back after that stupidity he pulled. Its her fault she's stuck with him, I'm not responsible for my parents' marriage or my mother's happiness (especially when she won't even take any responsability for it herself).<br> Am I wrong for this? I feel bad, sure, I was raised to believe everythign was my fault and my mother's unhappiness was my fault always. So I'm going to feel bad, there's no getting around that (but I'm woring on it!) But I mean, I'm still going to spend Christmas here, with Nathon. It would take hell freezing over before I'd give in and give up my perfect Christmas to go back there and be insulted and whinged at for goodness only knows how long because I'm not a stick insect, because Gid forbid I kiss and hug my fiance, and becuase my hair is long and mum prefered the goth bob. Arggh. I want to have a happy Christmas just once. I want to decorate our tiny tree with Nathon, unwrap our gifts together early in the morning, make a huge Christmas lunch, stay in and ignore the world together. </p> <p>Is it so wrong that I want to live my own life, instead of being a mechanism to make my mother happy after she's realized she's all alone and made some bad choices?? She has to live her own life, and she tells me I have to live mine, but I think she means only when she doesn't decide she wants me around.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/11/16/am_i_wrong_here~3304002/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/11/16/am_i_wrong_here~3304002/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/11/14/tacky_yes_true_unfortunately~3298125/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-11-14:/2007/11/14/tacky_yes_true_unfortunately~3298125/Wed, 14 Nov 2007 23:44:07 +0100 <p>We broke another bed... Its probably not the sort of thing I should be talking about here, but heck, its my blog and I can't say it anywhere else. "Hi mum, what's going on at your house? Yeah, nothing much, we broke the bed last night amidst the throws of passion..." Yeah, that's just not going to work. We broke Nathon's bed ages ago, which he bought when he moved out on his own. I'm stuck between feeling a little chuffed, and worrying about the bed breaking again while I'm asleep...(Its in a very precarious state of re-construction right now.) But I guess an upside of Nathon spending tonight away is that if the bed does break again, We wonf crash into each other... It'll just be me.<br> But the strange thing is, when the bed broke, the mattress slumped at a weird angle and our bed has actually never been so comfortable as it was then! lol Doesn't say much for our beautifully crafted bed lol.<br> Thank heavens its Thursday. Not because its almost the end of Nathon's training course (because it looks like he'll have to go away again for his on-the-job train next week anyway so I won't see much of him again... Yes, I cried when I heard that lol), but because we leave for our anniversary weekend away on Friday efternoon. Three days where there are no cars, no insurance salesmen trying to take my man away. Just us, a huge bed and a spa surrounded by pretty scenery and no-one who cares to bug us. Sigh. I can't wait. I've even started packing the food and I'm doing all the washing. If this weekend falls through like the last one I'm going to kill someone... or at least write them a very cranky letter lol.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/11/14/tacky_yes_true_unfortunately~3298125/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/11/14/tacky_yes_true_unfortunately~3298125/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/11/08/i_think_i_flashed_the_mail_man~3264951/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-11-08:/2007/11/08/i_think_i_flashed_the_mail_man~3264951/Thu, 08 Nov 2007 15:36:50 +0100 <p>Which has me kind of creeped out and feeling a little uggie... How was I to know the door had not closed and the wind we were having had set the door wide open??? Sigh.<br> My exams are over, yah! I totally loved the short answer questions in todays exam because I finally got asked what I would do and say in a counselling scenario.<br> Nathon is still training away, and will be till friday next week. But he is the top of his class and really enjoying it, except being away from me. So he drives home when he can for the night. The first night without him was really weird, especially because we'd spent 9 days straight together without him going to work. We normally make all the dinner and going to bed decisions together, and I realized I had no idea when to eat or sleep! And I discovered that I actually hadn't slept alone for a year. I got around it but it was weird lol. Nathon's trainer told him he must be enjoying being away from me and he said, actually no I hate it. And she said how long have you been together and he said two years, and she said wow I'd be dying to get away by then. Was he because we'd been together soo long? And Nathon said no, he still missed me when he went out for food for 20 minutes. She was like, oh, well co-dependancy is not good and you'll not be able to function without eachother and our relationship was just really weird. And Nathon got a little cranky and told her that if other people say we're doing it wrong its a good sign because their relationships last about 5 seconds. lol I like being co-dependant. I like missing him and being sad when we're apart. If I wasn't, then what point would there be to be with him??? If I go, boy I really gotta get away from you, all the time, then its not a healthy relationship. I think the reason so many people need to escape is because they have chosen the wrong person to be with who they can't be themselves around or who isn't suited to them. lol Enough yapping for now on my part.<br> So now I guess I'll go do something else... a little at a loss because I feel asleep early today and now I'm stuck staying up until I get sleepy again lol.<br> Thanks for your ear,<br> *Burn </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/11/08/i_think_i_flashed_the_mail_man~3264951/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/11/08/i_think_i_flashed_the_mail_man~3264951/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/11/05/diary_of_a_red_eyed_monster~3246787/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-11-05:/2007/11/05/diary_of_a_red_eyed_monster~3246787/Mon, 05 Nov 2007 02:28:35 +0100 <p>I haven't been to sleep since 8pm last night so I am a little blurry and weird.<br> Nathon started training for his new job today!! He left at 4:30am to be there on time and get sorted out. And get into his suit. Wow, does he look spiffy in a suit!!!! Anyway, he will be selling insurance and its all very scary and exciting and I couldn't go with him because I have exams and have to study. Prob'ly not a bad thing, since the room they gave him (which he was told I could stay in with him after my exams) he is sharing with another dude.. so that would have been interesting. He is hoping to come home after they finsih training at five. Its on for two weeks so I am desperatly hoping he gets to come home, because two weeks without him is basically toture.<br> We are going to have to cancle our trip to the place with the great big bed and spa bath for our anniversary because the training course runs right through our magical lost long weekend (both Saturday and Monday). We're mopey about it, but I try and look on the bright side, the course and the new job mean he never has to go near his old, evil work again. ANd that makes him happy. To make him happy I would gladly give up every anniversary we'll ever have.</p> <p>Interestingly enough, while tooling around on myspace (it doesn't get capitals becaue I don't take it seriously... lol) I found a pic of the guy I back hand slapped my first day of high school for calling me fat... It was kind of surreal lol. </p> <p>So I have successfully wasted soem time readin Bridal Guide and looking up people from my home town... now I guess I'll try and have a nap because I am feeling very weird...</p> <p>Thanks for reading,<br> *Burn</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/11/05/diary_of_a_red_eyed_monster~3246787/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/11/05/diary_of_a_red_eyed_monster~3246787/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/10/10/oh_woe~3114297/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-10-10:/2007/10/10/oh_woe~3114297/Wed, 10 Oct 2007 15:20:35 +0200 <p>I found out today that the uni told Centerlink (Welfare agency here) that my study load had dropped from full to part time(not even close to being my fault). So I could either go on the dole until the middle of next year and have to find and apply for 10 jobs every fortnight. Or I could get my youth study allowence canceled for 37 days (until the holidays start bizarrly enough, and then they will give my money back). I chose the latter, but I am scared I made the wrong choice. Nathon is being so wonderful, he says that this is the reason he works the job he does, so 'life bumps' aren't a problem. But I am so upset. I have money for groceraries and rent this week, and I have the money for all the next 4 weeks rent from my folks (how pathetic am I?), but I am going to have to let Nathon pay for groceraries for those 4 weeks. He wants to pay for it regualarly anyway, but I like paying my own way as much as I can. So I am dying. The worst thing for me is that our anniversary is in November during my enforced poverty and I had so many things I wanted to get for him. And we are going to go away for that weekend to this awesome place we went last New Years, it is beautiful and expensive and Nathon is paying for it out of his tax return and I wanted to at least buy all the groceraries for our trip and maybe get something lacy you know? Now its all messed up and I am a wreck.<br> But I am making 'Sorry and I love you' meatloaf for my wonderful man. And he'll make me calmer at least, if not at peace about all this stuff lol. Hugs will make me feel better, but I still feel so bad.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/10/10/oh_woe~3114297/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/10/10/oh_woe~3114297/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/10/07/do_you_yahoo_then_your_probably_a_f_d_up~3098215/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-10-07:/2007/10/07/do_you_yahoo_then_your_probably_a_f_d_up~3098215/Sun, 07 Oct 2007 15:38:28 +0200 <p>Strolling around Yahoo Answers Nathon and I found a girl asking about her contraceptive pill... the answer she got was not only COMPLETELY WRONG, but will most likely get her pregnant and was answered by a NURSE. Who had no fucking clue what she was saying about the pill at all. She might have as well said (I am paraphrasing here) 'Nah, don't worry about the last 3 pills, its only the worst time to miss pills, at the end, so it'll be fine...' Stupid bint.<br> So I went to here profile and looked at another question she answered. A guy was asking if transfering semen from himself to inside his fiance's vagina could cause her to become pregnant. Some dickhead (please excuse my language I am very very cranky) told him sperm die on contact with air.... WHAT THE FUCK? Is he on meth????? Of course sperm can survive air... do sperm banks make you masterbate into an airless vaccume? Bloody hell. there is air in the vagina and in there sperm can live for up to 8 days. What a wanker. Most of the other answers were just as enlightened (by this I mean retarded and dangerously uneducated).<br> No wonder so many kids know nothing about their bodies or their partner's... they get all their knowledge from Yahoo fucking Answers!! Where some dumbass from Nantucket will tell you your girlfriend can get pregnant swallowing so you better run now...<br> What a load of bollocks that whole site is. If you have a health question, or a question that if you get the worng answer you can be changeing diapers in 9 months, ASK A FUCKING DOCTOR!!!!!!!!!!!<br> I am sory to have offended anyone with my uncooth rant full of blue words, but I am really pissed off that people take it upon themselves to answer questions they know nothing about when the answers are so important. And who the hell, when it comes down to their health or the health of the person they love, goes to Yahoo Answers? Sure, its cheap and easy, but its your life and health we're talking about. Leave Yahoo Answers for questions about how to get to that next level of Doom.<br> Sigh. I feel better now.<br> Thanks for listening. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/10/07/do_you_yahoo_then_your_probably_a_f_d_up~3098215/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/10/07/do_you_yahoo_then_your_probably_a_f_d_up~3098215/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/10/03/a_little_bit_worried~3078617/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-10-03:/2007/10/03/a_little_bit_worried~3078617/Wed, 03 Oct 2007 15:20:03 +0200 <p>I just got told by a test that I am over the desireable level of homicideal tendancies and should consult a trained proffessional...<br> I"M BECOMING A TRAINED PROFFESSIONAL!!!!!!!!<br> This is not ideal...<br> Can one diagnose and treat ones-self?<br> LOL<img src="/img/smilies/graylaugh.gif" alt=":))" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/10/03/a_little_bit_worried~3078617/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/10/03/a_little_bit_worried~3078617/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/09/27/i_hate_the_flu~3046424/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-09-27:/2007/09/27/i_hate_the_flu~3046424/Thu, 27 Sep 2007 07:35:53 +0200 <p>I feel like there are tiny ants crawling through my sinus in winter socks. <br>And I am so warm and cold all at the same time. <br>Nathon had to do the rent today because I was all sick. <br>If I feel less like scratching out my sinus later I might write somethig intelligent.... maybe. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/09/27/i_hate_the_flu~3046424/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/09/27/i_hate_the_flu~3046424/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/09/21/gone_home_to_cry~3015586/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-09-21:/2007/09/21/gone_home_to_cry~3015586/Fri, 21 Sep 2007 07:04:04 +0200 <p>We have to go to my brothers tomorrow for baby viewing purposes. And I wanted to have something nice to wear. I tell you now, dressing room mirrors are evil. But in a sense, good as well becuase I think I have finally shocked myself into action. I thought I was getting better weight wise, but if the mirror wasn't lying, then I am very very fat and ugly. So I am starting exercise today. Enough of being scared to go outside for fear of being yelled at again or stared at... I just have to start becuase I can't live like this. I used to be so happy, so confident. I used to like my body. I used to go out shopping with no shoes and never worry about what people thought, I just enjoyed being out... Now I just want to close in on myself and hide whenever I'm out in public.<br> I would have gone some other places for clothes or even got desperatly needed petrol, but I was so ashamed of myself, I came straight home to cry.<br> This has to end. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/09/21/gone_home_to_cry~3015586/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/09/21/gone_home_to_cry~3015586/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/09/19/greta_garbo_and_grace_kelly~3005728/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-09-19:/2007/09/19/greta_garbo_and_grace_kelly~3005728/Wed, 19 Sep 2007 13:21:05 +0200 <p>I got a wonderful book out of the library called 'The Man Who Shot Garbo'. It has so many amazing photos of well, Greta Garbor, obviously, lol and Grace Kelly, Katherine Hepburn, Fred Astair etc. I love drawing from black and white photos because they have the best contrast and shadow, which is awesome. These are two very dodgy photos of two of my drawings of photos of Greta Garbo and Grace Kelly. Not to sound awful, but they looks sooo much better in person. lol The copyright of the images I drew from are to C.S. Bull. Just so you know.....</p> <p><img src="http://data1.blog.de/media/125/1987125_b5fee3bbf3_m.jpg" alt="Greta Garbo" hspace="5" vspace="5" width="499" height="375"><img src="http://data1.blog.de/media/126/1987126_9ced6d3c2b_m.jpg" alt="Grace Kelly" hspace="5" vspace="5" width="499" height="375"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/09/19/greta_garbo_and_grace_kelly~3005728/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>pencil-drawingsgreta-garbograce-kellycs-bullhttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/09/19/greta_garbo_and_grace_kelly~3005728/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/09/17/so_what_s_wrong_with_her_nothing_at_all~2993645/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-09-17:/2007/09/17/so_what_s_wrong_with_her_nothing_at_all~2993645/Mon, 17 Sep 2007 14:13:58 +0200 <p>Ok, so I avoided the whole Emmy busness like the plague tonight, becasue not only is it boring but it is so obviously try-hard funny that I can't bear it. But I did catch the news, where some prick decided to insinuate that America Ferrera (Ugly Betty) was living her 'ugly' role outside the show because of how she looked at the awards. Quite frankly, I think she looks gorgeous. She has full, sexy, beautiful figure; an amazingly warm and sincere smile especially for Hollywood material; and she is genuinely sweet and beautiful on the inside too. Sure, she's not the stick insect that Vanessa Williams or Katherine Heigle are... which I think is a bonus. The dress copped a lot of flack, but I think it was very complinentary and suited her. Its not easy to find perfectly fitting clothes when you're not a size 10, but she looked lovely. I am just sick of hearing she's ugly because she has a real figure rather than a few bones in a $2000 dress. <br>Go her, for getting out there and living her dream, because she is talented and beautiful and shouldn't let stupid, shallow people ruin her life. Like I have. </p> <p><a href="http://tv.msn.com/tv/emmys2007/winnersgallery?photoidx=4" title="America Ferrera"><img src="http://data1.blog.de/media/968/1980968_a0e04e79f2_m.jpg" alt="America Ferrera" hspace="5" vspace="5" width="286" height="375"></a> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/09/17/so_what_s_wrong_with_her_nothing_at_all~2993645/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>emmy-awardsshallownessamerica-ferrerahttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/09/17/so_what_s_wrong_with_her_nothing_at_all~2993645/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/09/14/where_d_it_go~2978841/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-09-14:/2007/09/14/where_d_it_go~2978841/Fri, 14 Sep 2007 12:48:47 +0200 <p>I had this weird tag 'put me in a headlock'.<br> I did a blog about it months ago maybe.<br> And now its gone....<br> Poof.<br> How?????<br> I didn't delete it.<br> Curiouser and curiouser.....</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/09/14/where_d_it_go~2978841/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/09/14/where_d_it_go~2978841/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/09/14/bob_dylan_opened_your_mind_the_way_elvis~2978813/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-09-14:/2007/09/14/bob_dylan_opened_your_mind_the_way_elvis~2978813/Fri, 14 Sep 2007 12:40:54 +0200 <p>Well, apart from locking myself out of the house for 5 hours like a moron and both of us getting very bad gastroenteritis, nothing much has happened here. Being sick, we missed my nephew's christening, which was bad. I haven't seen him yet, and apparently this is bugging some people. BUt if they really cared that much about me seeing him, they should have invited us over or come over when I invited them all those times... Grrrrr. I invited them to come down (we live only an hour apart), but she said no because bub couldn't travel that far. So she'd let me know when we could come to them. Months later and no word on that, but apparently she comes here all the time with her mum... Grumble grumble... It's their fault as much as mine, but I'm getting all the flack. And I'm supposed to drop everyhting to see thier baby, but they haven't bothered to come see our house even though I invited them for ages before they had the baby, and they didn't even send me a birthday card for my 21st. They didn't even spend more time with me after the phone call thing... They live an hour away when I was on college and didn't call or text or vist or anything except when they wanted something... And she didn't tell my brother that I'd sent them a letter either, for like weeks. Its all hypocritical bullshit if they are mad at me.<br> Anyway....<br> Some dick on the net told me that if I'd spent 4 years writing my novel, then it was obviously crap and I should give it up. Like he did. Yes, its been 4 years, but I was doing my final year and exams for high school when I started the book and then I went to uni. I don't have time to write 24/7 and have their mom keep them like some people (i.e. him). He was such an arrogant know it all. And I don't see why I have to finish in a certain time anyway... its about writing and having fun, and telling a story you want to tell, not pushing out tons of crap just to do it fast (i.e. like him).I enjoy my book. I'm in the middle of editing it in fact. Its fun and will be something some day... And no jumped up, haiku writing ponce will make it otherwise. </p> <p>Now that I have ranted myself empty, I'm going to talk about nice things.</p> <p>I made a really yummy cake for my Nathon...<br> We're working our way through season 2 of Dead Like Me.<br> My root canaled tooth is doing really great. But the crown will cost a mint.<br> I am bored and lonely and Friday is taking forever to end. I never used to be a bored person (only boring people get bored, for sure)... but now I have Nathon, time without him just isn't the same as when I didn't know him and had a bunch of free time... its very empty. </p> <p>Ok, I'm off.<br> Thanks for listening. <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/09/14/bob_dylan_opened_your_mind_the_way_elvis~2978813/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/09/14/bob_dylan_opened_your_mind_the_way_elvis~2978813/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/09/04/dental_dams_aren_t_sexy~2921273/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-09-04:/2007/09/04/dental_dams_aren_t_sexy~2921273/Tue, 04 Sep 2007 08:33:00 +0200 <p>Well, they aren't, and someone should really break the news to Ducky before she leads a generation into unfulfilling dental dam fetishes (read Sex With The Lights On, this will all make sense and it'll be fun too).<br> I had my first root canal appointment today. It hurt somewhat, but mostly it was the needles and holding my mouth open so long lol. The anesthetic didn't work so well today, meaning I could feel some of it, but my dentist took the whole problem personally, as though ineffective anesthetic was a personal affront; and he gave me a ton more anesthetic and apologised a million times eevry time it happened... very sweet man. Keeps pitcures of his family in the room, so nice.<br> So the numbness is wearing off now and I'm not liking it because things are starting to hurt, but its not too bad so far.<br> Nathon gave me a rose before my appointment because I was scared. It was so lovely. Everyday he makes me remember how wonderful he is.<br> Anyway, I'm going to go take some Nurophen and have a nap.<br> Hope you all had a great weekend <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"></p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/09/04/dental_dams_aren_t_sexy~2921273/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/09/04/dental_dams_aren_t_sexy~2921273/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/29/title~2887037/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-08-28:/2007/08/29/title~2887037/Wed, 29 Aug 2007 00:27:45 +0200 <p><strong>You scored 30% Tough, 4% Roguish, 38% Friendly, and 28% Charming!</strong></p> <p>You're the original man of honor, rough and tough but willing to stick your neck out when you need to, despite what you might say to the contrary. You're a complex character full of spit and vinegar, but with a soft heart and a tender streak that you try to hide. There's usually a complicated dame in the picture, someone who sees the real you behind all the tough talk and can dish it out as well as you can. You're not easy to get next to, but when you find the right partner, you're caring and loyal to a fault. A big fault. But you take it on the chin and move on, nursing your pain inside and maintaining your armor...until the next dame walks in. Or possibly the same dame, and of all the gin joints in all the world, it had to be yours. Co-stars include Ingrid Bergman and Lauren Bacall, hot chicks with problems. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/29/title~2887037/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/29/title~2887037/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/29/the_strange_things_i_have_craved_this_we~2887023/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-08-28:/2007/08/29/the_strange_things_i_have_craved_this_we~2887023/Wed, 29 Aug 2007 00:18:01 +0200 <p>1. Cappuchino (I HATE coffee, so this came as a huge shock to me, spending the week wanting a cappuchino so badly I could smell and taste it.)<br> 2. Banana lollies (You know, those hard chewy things? Which I can't stand.)<br> 3. Sex (In a big big way...)<br> 4. Chicken (Don't ask me why...)<br> 5. Chocolate chip cookies (But we have none in the house because otherwise I'd eat them)</p> <p>Perhaps it's just this time of the month... which is turning out to be a lot less bothersome the last one whihc hurt like a son of a bitch and lasted a little over a month!<br> Maybe I'll get a cappuchino today...</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/29/the_strange_things_i_have_craved_this_we~2887023/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/29/the_strange_things_i_have_craved_this_we~2887023/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/27/learning_disability_my_ass~2877608/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-08-27:/2007/08/27/learning_disability_my_ass~2877608/Mon, 27 Aug 2007 12:56:09 +0200 <p>Some silly woman writing a test just told me I scored '80% intelligence' and I possibly had an undiagnose learning disability and a C average and was obviously stupid. <img src="/img/smilies/icon_evil.gif" alt=">:-[" class="middle" border="0"><br> Well... when she takes 10 percent off your intelligence for needing a calulator for square roots of large numbers, what do you expect? I did it again, made sure I got everything right and came out 90%. She said her 9 year old daughter knows the same amount but that I sould be proud. Sarcastic bitch .<br> I almost wrote to tell her that, should her 9 year old daughter be even half as smart as I was when I was that age, she should be damn lucky. And that, as a woman who swears to come from another planet where everything is made entirely of hair, she should not be the one making intelligence tests?<br> Petty,<img src="/img/smilies/icon_redface.gif" alt=":oops:" class="middle" border="0"><img src="/img/smilies/grayno.gif" alt=":no:" class="middle" border="0"> I know, but she can't even spell properly or use punctuation, and I refuse to be told I am dumb by her. <img src="/img/smilies/icon_censored.gif" alt=">:XX" class="middle" border="0"><br> As for the whole C grade BS, I was an A student all my life. So nerr the her.<br> <img src="/img/smilies/graylaugh.gif" alt=":))" class="middle" border="0"> </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/27/learning_disability_my_ass~2877608/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/27/learning_disability_my_ass~2877608/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/27/you_see_this_is_why_i_hate_the_phone~2877354/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-08-27:/2007/08/27/you_see_this_is_why_i_hate_the_phone~2877354/Mon, 27 Aug 2007 12:10:23 +0200 <p>First, my mother inlaw to be called. That was bad enough.<br> Then Nathon called on his dinner break and his credit ran out, so I ran around trying to find another source of his mobile phone number because my mobile is the only place I have it and its dead... So I tried the phone bills, 'cause I call Nathon many times on the home phone when he's going to work, leaving work, or having a lunch break.<br> First number I called was his mother. Blah.<br> Second was the newest ex-friend. First I thought it was a guy from Nathon's work who answered... and promptly hung up (they all creep me out). Then I realized and redialed just to keep things from getting any more acidic than they have become.<br> Did I really want to make awkward chit chat about uni and general life with him? No. I would have opened a vein before I'd have opened communications again. That might seem harsh, but the friendship is over. Things have been done and said on both sides that to me make any future friendship impossible.<br> His voice sounded pleased to hear from me, and he seemed to hang on to the conversation. I on the other hand just wanted out, mostly so I could try and call Nathon again (its making me actually sick now because I didn't get to find the number in time to call him back and I really wanted to hear his voice again and tell him tuesday was ok to take off), but partly because I was uncomfortable. My feelings about this person and the friendship changed a long time ago. I don't want to make up. I don't want to be friends again. But it felt like I was getting pushed into it. Like that one call was a foot down a water slide, and I had no choice but to go the whole way now. Well, I have a choice and my choice is no. Its time for me to be serious about wanting what's best for me. Too many times I let things slide and put up with people's shit, whether I was just being too nice, too desperate for friends, or too cowardly. Not again. I won't let it. I dealt with a lot from him in the late Autumn of our friendship. A quick sorry now about something he said about me during a friendship sebatical won't cut it. The end was coming and I'm glad it did. I am also glad I got to have my say, once and for all. Its all over now and that gives me a calm that feels great.</p> <p>I know that a public forum is not the best place to say this sort of thing in, but I needed to clear my emotional cobwebs.<br> Thanks for letting me bend your ear. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/27/you_see_this_is_why_i_hate_the_phone~2877354/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/27/you_see_this_is_why_i_hate_the_phone~2877354/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/27/searching~2876671/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-08-27:/2007/08/27/searching~2876671/Mon, 27 Aug 2007 09:47:35 +0200 <p>For a casual job. I know Nathon won't particularly like it, I mean he isn't one of those 'women don't work ra ra' people, he just likes taking care of me. But I feel so awful when he goes to work every day and I stay home on my ass.<br> So I'm doing a little job hunting...<br> But its harder than it sounds:<br> I am passionate, but not cosmopolitan...<br> I have finished year 12 well and truely, but physically fit? Nup...<br> I am definatly not an accountant, although it looks like accountants are in demand.<br> I have never constrcuted anything beyond a fence in my life...<br> Riggning is not my thing...</p> <p>I guess I'll keep looking. </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/27/searching~2876671/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/27/searching~2876671/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/27/the_guy_next_door~2876515/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-08-27:/2007/08/27/the_guy_next_door~2876515/Mon, 27 Aug 2007 09:08:59 +0200 <p>I can't stand him.<br> It's not like we've met, but I hear him and its enough.<br> He gets all his loud and drunken mates over all the time and they swear and being generally stupid together.<br> But that I can deal with. Its what he says to his daughter that kills me. He calls her nasty names and swears at her. I don't ever hear her cry or anything, but I worry he hurts her. I know what its like and I don't know what to do. Part of me wants to call the appropriot authorites and tell all. But I know what it would have been like for me to lose my mum back then, even though she was evil. WOuld the effect of losing her dad or being the cause of something to happen to him cost her more than what he's doing? I don't know for sure if he hurst her physically, but verbal abuse hurts enough on its own.<br> She is a spoiled brat, but she always looks so sad...<br> What am I to do? </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/27/the_guy_next_door~2876515/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/27/the_guy_next_door~2876515/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/27/what_does_an_orgy_look_like~2876437/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-08-27:/2007/08/27/what_does_an_orgy_look_like~2876437/Mon, 27 Aug 2007 08:49:45 +0200 <p>I mean, I've seen some very strange 80's porn which had a comfoting lack of anal and facial cumshots. And one weird one with all these people on the floor in twos and threes. But that's dodgy quality downloads. Seeing a real orgy would be a lot different. You can't click the fast forward button for your own comfort.<br> Weird subject for today I know, but I am reading another Laurell K Hamilton, and the sex has been getting progressivly more crowded.<br> I always knew I could never have a more-than-one-in-the-bed scenario. Not because of any particular moral sensitivities although I had objections on those grounds too (I have been asked before by an asshole, and it turned my stomach; watching someone you're dating screw someone else or vice-versa just doesn't do it for me. I can understand how it does for others, though.) But the main problem I would have had is I couldn't enjoy any of it because I'd always be worried someone was getting left out. What if, like in the book, there was only one girl? True, one of the guys is bi, but the others weren't. Talk about multitasking! Someone is bound to feel unhappy about the amount of attention they got...<br> And if you cared about all your partners, it would be very emotionally taxing.<br> Perhaps I am over thinking the whole group sex issue?<br> I'm just lucky I don't have a man like most Nathon works with who think group sex is the best thing you can do in a group since bowling...</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/27/what_does_an_orgy_look_like~2876437/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/27/what_does_an_orgy_look_like~2876437/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/24/something_wicked_this_way_comes~2862739/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-08-24:/2007/08/24/something_wicked_this_way_comes~2862739/Fri, 24 Aug 2007 14:04:38 +0200 <p>By that, I mean root canal. $1200+ worth of root canal to be precise. But apparently my tooth is pretty healthy and I have a 98% chance of keeping my tooth, but a far greater chance of damaging all my other teeth on that side should I get it ripped out all together. Which is what my mum has been angling for since yesterday. Which is all well and good for her but its my tooth. The dumbest question to pass my mother's lips after I told her the options and that if I removed it my teeth would lean or drop and my bite would go out the window was "Oh, so you want to keep it?" No, why would I want to keep something which is still a salvagable tooth that apparently keeps things running smoothly in a massive way... Arrg. So I am leaning heavily towards root canal, with a slight hesitation about the price (as much as my mother hurts me, at least she will be helping me pay for it which is something at least) and the implications. But the pain should be managable or negligable, so I'm pretty thrilled about that, being that root canal is meant to be a highly thought of alternative to a date with David Hasselhoff...<br> As for my dentist, he was fantastic. Jolly and nice, and a deft hand with a couple of syringes full of some wonderful drug which meant for the first time in a dentist's chair, the needle was the most painful part of the whole thing. Usually I feel everything. But thankfully I was blissfully numb until about two and a half hours later... Discovered also that kissing with anesthetic is like kissing your honey with someone else's lips, should those lips be made of some kind of resin or cement...<br> Anyway, I think all will be ok, if one can assume root canal is ok... I just hope I don't need a crown because that will be enormously expensive again.<br> Sigh.<br> Money is such a shitful thing. Probably, if money grew on some kind of native bush here, then I wouldn't even be having this problem now... I'd have had regular dental checkups as a kid/teen and would not have wound up with a hole in my tooth which doubles for a monetary black hole now.<br> But still, at least I live in an age where this stuff exists, cause I don't think some sweaty guy with a pair of pliers and a handwritten shingle ripping your tooth<br> out on his break from shoeing horses would be the epitome of fun.<br> Thanks to Sienna, Mandazzle and Rippled_Water for being so nice <img src="/img/smilies/icon_smile.gif" alt=":)" class="middle" border="0"><br> Have a great weekend y'all.... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/24/something_wicked_this_way_comes~2862739/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/24/something_wicked_this_way_comes~2862739/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/24/the_morning_of~2860201/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-08-24:/2007/08/24/the_morning_of~2860201/Fri, 24 Aug 2007 01:28:31 +0200 <p>....Dental work, unfortunatly. I am dressed and ready about a hour before I need to be there.<br> Interesting side note to that, I decided to wash some of my clothes so as to look spiffy for the dentist appointment. I hung out my clothes and it promptly started raining again... and has not ceased for long enough so as for them to dry. Leaving me shirtles and braless. I searched around the unit, swearing I had far more spare bras than a red one that cut off my circulation before I got fat and a broken grey one. I ended up finding the most unlikly one... the first bra I ever had. It is now all dodgy and warped and greying (eleven years on), but since all my other bras are incognito, it will have to do. Nathon bought me this awesome black knitted hoodie which is coming in very handy today as it is dismal, cold and rainy (incidently, just how I like my weather...)<br> I am very much freaking out. I am a super wuss when it comes to dental things.<br> Leaving now, I guess I'll be back to whinge later.... </p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/24/the_morning_of~2860201/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/24/the_morning_of~2860201/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/22/oh_f_k~2853822/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-08-22:/2007/08/22/oh_f_k~2853822/Wed, 22 Aug 2007 22:42:40 +0200 <p>A piece of my back tooth fell off tonight... I was eating a ice cream and the piece of tooth just came off!!!!<br> It was part of one of my filled ones (I have four).<br> I spent my 18th year telling my mother I had a hole in my tooth, to which she told me 'No you don't' (like I dont't know there's a huge gaping hole in my tooth that a whole herring could fall in and not get out? Geez) When it finally got to the point where it hurt to eat, my gum was swelling slightly and bits of tooth were coming out of the hole, I pressed upon her that indeed, there was a freaking hole, and to have a good look. She said she could see one. I got her the torch. She shone it in my mouth and said 'You have a hole in your tooth!!' Really???? I DIDN'T FUCKING KNOW <em>THAT</em>!!!!! Arggg. The only other times I'd been to the demtist until this moment was for a general clean and what have you when I was 5, and once at 10 because my mum wanted the dentist to fix my teeth because she thought they were too green. So off we went finally (can you feel the hint of anger here?) and got me a filling. By this time, my tooth had decayed so badly the nerve was exposed. The Dentist stuffed some amalgam in there and that was that.<br> The piece of tooth looks like it was cracked on one side, most assuredly by Dentist Man, as the crack is perfectly straight, and I heard a weird 'pop' sound during my first filling I didn't hear during my others... It looks like the piece died and broke off on the other side. Lovely huh????<br> I hate the dentist, by the way. I am desperatly afraid of dentists and their horrible sharp nasty instruments of torture.<br> I am staying up so I can make an appointment early at a dentist here.<br> I know it may sound petty, but I don't care: Mum offered to pay for my dental work because she feels bad about not taking me to the dentist, and I'm going to take her up on that this morning.<br> And its not only the dentist she never took me too. I had doctors visits twice ever until I was 15, both for needles. In that time I had been hit in the head by a horse, got wiplash in a car accident, cut open my knuckle to the bone on kitchen laminate, fallen on a plough blade on my personal bits resulting in two days of crazy bleeding, immobalising chest pains both regularly occuring and caused by a flu, a nasty dog bite, various falls landing on both head and back, and croup. Did I go to a doctor for any of this? No.<br> I bear a huge health care grudge against my parents. In a nation with a pretty damn good health system compared to soem places, why didn't I get to go? Mum told me the other day when we were talking about the whole cut and bleeding 'down there' incident that it wa sme who didn't want to go. I was 9, scared shitless, in a lot of pain, and bleeding at a fast rate. Of course I wanted to got to the doctor! And, what kind of parent would serious listen to their child not wanting to go to the doctor when there was a pool of blood involved? My dad said, and I remember it clearly thank you, that I didn't need to go. Mum told me to stop crying like a baby and not embarass her in front of the neighbour's children.<br> Parenting 101 could take a leaf out of their book, huh?<br> Anyway, I hate dentists but there is a large bit of tooth missing and it hurts a lot. So, enough complaining, away to the dentist and I'll just have to be brave with myself.<br> Wish me luck.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/22/oh_f_k~2853822/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/22/oh_f_k~2853822/#commentshttp://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/15/chit_chat~2813000/tag:tiger5.blog.co.uk,2007-08-15:/2007/08/15/chit_chat~2813000/Wed, 15 Aug 2007 15:53:14 +0200 <p>I tried to join a chat room tonight.<br> I am getting sick of having converstaions with myself or watching David Letterman reruns. So I found a nice-looking women's only chatroom (of course, I didn't have to do that, Nathon gave me cart blanche to go anywhere I liked - co-ed or not, but I guess I know how I'd feel if he started tlaking to some woman on the net and it wouldn't be good).<br> It was awkward. Very very awkward. A lovely lady chatted to me, but everyone else mostly ignored me and I got sick of saying stuff that got no response, realized I was intruding on a personal moment, and buggered off to do quizzes.<br> Is there no place where the flow through is so dense that no-one makes friends there and are in constant need of immediate conversation? lol<br> Theere was a 19 year old there, and it hit me again how stupid people are at that age. I was socially backward and at 19 even I wasn't quite so self-centred and rude... with the IQ of a slice of canned beetroot. Anyway...<br> I guess I either try again another night or pack it in. But I can't imagine it getting any easier.</p> <p> <small> <a href="http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/15/chit_chat~2813000/#comments">Comments</a> </small> </p>http://tiger5.blog.co.uk/2007/08/15/chit_chat~2813000/#comments