I found out today that the uni told Centerlink (Welfare agency here) that my study load had dropped from full to part time(not even close to being my fault). So I could either go on the dole until the middle of next year and have to find and apply for 10 jobs every fortnight. Or I could get my youth study allowence canceled for 37 days (until the holidays start bizarrly enough, and then they will give my money back). I chose the latter, but I am scared I made the wrong choice. Nathon is being so wonderful, he says that this is the reason he works the job he does, so 'life bumps' aren't a problem. But I am so upset. I have money for groceraries and rent this week, and I have the money for all the next 4 weeks rent from my folks (how pathetic am I?), but I am going to have to let Nathon pay for groceraries for those 4 weeks. He wants to pay for it regualarly anyway, but I like paying my own way as much as I can. So I am dying. The worst thing for me is that our anniversary is in November during my enforced poverty and I had so many things I wanted to get for him. And we are going to go away for that weekend to this awesome place we went last New Years, it is beautiful and expensive and Nathon is paying for it out of his tax return and I wanted to at least buy all the groceraries for our trip and maybe get something lacy you know? Now its all messed up and I am a wreck.
But I am making 'Sorry and I love you' meatloaf for my wonderful man. And he'll make me calmer at least, if not at peace about all this stuff lol. Hugs will make me feel better, but I still feel so bad.