I did this quiz at 1am last night:

Which Firefly character are you?" - Results:

You are Jayne, the bravo of the group. You may not be too bright, but you got muscles and can hit a man in the neck from 500 yards with a bent scope. You send money to your mother and as much has you may dislike it, you're a hero.

P.S. Jayne named his gun Vera and likes to torture people... when he doesn't get too he tends to throw a funk ("Aw,and I was gonna get me an ear") This result, while expected, really, is none the less disturbing.. maybe I should kill myself now? Or just roll with it? Can anyone help me name my knife? Its a survival knife like soldiers have, all surgical steel. Ideas will be greatfully accepted and considered and will be published here and the top five will also be published for you to vote for. Yah! A competition! If yours wins then you can send me a pic of yourself at my e-mail address(w0040805@mail.connect.usq.edu.au) and I'll put it up on my blog!!!

in the meantime:
here are some cool lines from the show just because I'm sad and pathetic:

"Oh, my god. What can it be? We're all doomed! Whose flying this thing?! Oh, right, that would be me. Back to work." Wash- he's the pilot

"If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater."

"Sir, I think you have a problem with your brain being missing."

and my personal favourite, let's hope I do it right:

Zoe on the Reavers(crazy space guys who just roam the galaxy looking for people to kill horribly..)
"They'll board us, rape us to death, eat our flesh and sew our skins into their coats. And if we're real lucky they'll do it in that order.." Can you say: ewwwww.

Plus:
Lookie lookie...

Anyway, gotta get to serious work... yeah right. I'll probably be playing with the bloody yo-yo...

Hey guys!
Just a quick note of the update variety. Havn't got too much time before my computer crashes again.
I HAVE A NEW FRIEND!!! Hello to swillw who is now my friend. He's cool, go check out his blog!
Hmm, ahhhh, hung out with one of Jay's friends this afternoon(may have mentioned him before, may not have, if I have then I've forgotten his alias and you'll be confused if I re name him so he'll just remain nameless until I can check..ok?). We watched Pulp Fiction in the library which is the awesome and spur of the moment kind of thing that he does. Much fun, plus it was nice of him to want to hang out with me, being that I'm not a part of their group or anything and I'm not really that cool, you know?? Anyway...
I have a yo-yo! Several people believe I am strange since after they gave it to me for buying a coke I got all excited and said 'I have a yo-yo' reapeatedly and with great verve... but I didn't know most of them so that's ok. My yo-yo is red and has Coke-Cola written on it. I can't do fancy tricks but I'm excited none the less. Yo-yos are anti-depressants on string...
PLEASE let me go live in the Arts department so I can see my Communication tutor every day!! It our last class next week and I'm sad
Ok, gotta go, computers going to crash,
luv ya all heaps,
tiger5 and the yo-yo

Hey everybody!!!
Its been a while since I’ve blogged for you all, sorry but I’ve been extraordinarily busy! Here at stupid drunk people central(otherwise known as the college where I live), we just had our semi formal. It was fancy dress. Each block had a Disney movie theme. Ours was Toy Story 1 & 2. I went as a toy soldier. I was painted green. There’s still some green shit in my right ear, but that’s because Bull shot me in the head with my own water gun and the green ran in... say it with me now.. Ewwwwww! How about a run down of the whole semi-formal experience? No? Like you have a choice... Mwahahaha!(evil laugh, in case it wasn’t that obvious...)
Well, I got my costume(soldier outfit) the day before and my gun (which my new friend Emma, a fellow soldier, and I painted green) the day of. Emma is awesome and we’ll get to more about her later....
Anyway, so after Emma and I got back from town I went up to uni to get food(so very hungry now as well actually, wishing desperately for McDonalds). Sat with Jay and we talked about some stuff he was going through then I came home and got greened up about two hours early. Then I went to see Dutchess and help Little Doug get all red to play a little devil(seriously can’t wait to tell my mum that I ran my hads all over a half naked guy. Heheh. Seriously, I did. Just the top half, and with red paint but she wont know that until I tell her). Then I went back to my block to find Bull completely smashed and in the process of getting more smashed by drinking straight scotch. He was going as Woody so I had to help him attach his pull cord to the back of his vest. Then I helped him attach his belt buckle(fun). Then I helped him not fall over about three times and got called a bitch for my trouble. The whole night I watched out for him, made sure he didn’t do anything to silly, shut him up when he got loud like he asked me to, helped him look for stuff he lost and showed him where the toilet was. Because of this we got asked if we were going out. But there was a weird Freudian slip from him, which could be accounted for by alcohol, but I like it anyway. He was saying he was a bastard, and I said, ‘I don’t think you are’ and he said ‘No, Woody’s girl is supposed to think he’s bastard’. I said ‘What?’ and he said ‘nothing’ very quickly. Hmmmm. Anyway, our block won best dressed block and my block boss won best dressed man with his Buzz Light-year suit which had about a 30 hour construction time. Our banner didn’t win but it was by far the best. Arg. I went to the after-party but after three alcoholic punches(god only knows what was in it) and with an inch of vodka left in my bottle I felt quite sick(I’d been really, really tired lately because of various reasons, like I stayed up to help Bull paint the banner, so that may account for this) and I so I left the party went and watched football with Bull. We were getting on pretty well until Emma came back from the party and he started being mean again(I don’t blame her, its just who Bull is). She wanted him to say sorry to me about something he said because I’d looked after him all night when, and I quote, “No one else gave a fuck, we were too embarrassed”. Ouch. But he didn’t and then the three of us had a huge paper ball fight during which he hit me in the head with his video camera three or four times and locked me in his bathroom. I lead a weird life. Then Emma told me that some of the girls in my block think I’m weird and that I called another girl here a bitch. I am weird but I barely know the girl.. never said that about or to her. Someone’s telling fibs...( Oh,and I am fast becoming one of the most unliked people in the block because of those two reasons and because I have a rapport with Bull. Oh well. I’m not changing who I am for a bunch of drunken losers who couldn’t even spell rapport sober. I’m me and I like me. SCREW THE WORLD!!!
And now that’s out of my system, lets see what else is going on...
I met up with Jay at the uni club (escorted by Bull, how fun is that!?!?!) and he said he couldn’t make up his mind about if he wanted me or not. Oh god... This guy is really too annoying. He waffled on about it and I just experimented with Bull while he talked to someone else by putting my leg against his. He didn’t move it and when I pulled back he gave me a quizzical weird look. When I put it back he smiled. I don’t know what this means but suggestions are welcome. Jay is having problems about his previous relationships and I don’t think (even if I felt anything strong for him) that it would be a good idea for us to be together. I am not ready for any kind of committed relationship even though I want one, and I’m definitely not into casual. If we got closer or something I’d only hurt him. Something I really don’t want to do since he’s fucked up about girls as it is...
Oh, yeah. Jay’s friend (let’s call him...) Smith keeps hitting on me, calling me hot and looking like he’s going to kiss me. The other day he asked me a lot of dumb questions like had I ever had sex, and who did I lose my virginity to, and then with how many guys had I done it, and what did I think of Jay’s friend (oh, I’m too tired for pseudonyms, let’s call him..) Africa. Weird. And then he said I’d be fun to fight over with Jay or someone... Hmmm. We were going to have lunch tomorrow but he cancelled thank god and I get to go have lunch on my own which will be more fun.
I have a lot of work to do but today I didn’t wake up until 4:30 in the afternoon. Eeeek! I guess I was really, really tired. And the sickness and the possible concussion from Bull’s camera might have helped. I have to write 3000 words by the sixth of June and do my washing some time... Oh, god I’m so tired...
I better go get some sleep. Gotta work tomorrow...a lot.
See you round like a cantelope, and until we meet again, remember:
Life is like a box of chocolates: fattening and it doesn’t last long enough....
Never smile at a crocodile,
Wishing you a great day,
Tiger 5

P.S. Hello to my girl Frenchy who checks this blog to make sure I'm ok. Love you!!!
P.P.S Big hullo to Bogie!
P.P.P.S.And hello to Ian!

Hey folks,
How is everybody? As I promised yesterday, I am back! Kinda’ like Arnie but not quite as buff...
Well, let’s see, what’s happened lately....? Hmmmmm.....
Well, after many attempts to get cosy with me (and being told to leave me alone when doing so and also being kicked out of my room at 3am at least twice) Jay has decided that he needs someone to have fun with and since I am not that person(bet you didn’t see that coming) he is going to go and find a casual feel-up buddy to quote ‘get the friskiness out of my system’ end quote. But apparently I am still cool and adorable and we are still goin to be friends. Which is cool because apart from liking Jay as a friend rather than anything else I really love his friends. Strange thinking I have, yes. I really just didn’t want to be what he wanted: a cuddle/touchy buddy. I’m not like that. That time I had that thing with Mr M that night I cried all day and called myself some pretty harsh things. My friend Rome says its ok that it happened but he doesn’t know everything. I am not a casual relationship person. As sick as I am of weird guys who like me way too much way too soon, I am not cheap and I am not going to be a toy to be picked up and put down whenever he wants just because I’m lonely and he thinks a bunch of rules about how we feel and act makes casually screwing around ok. No way. I think he thinks that commitment was what bothered me. But it was the idea of being his play thing that made me pull back every time he tried something. I can’t comfortably do anything with anyone unless I know that I’m somewhat safe. That they want to, for the lack of a better term, be with me for an extended period of time, they care for me and they don’t just want to fool around: they want me. Here ends that tirade and so starts another....
FUCKING MR M!!!!! He’s been telling people that he’s ‘done’ me. Huh? He only felt around very inexpertly(read: badly) for ages. Do I take done to mean something it shouldn’t? I don’t know. But apparently its common knowledge that something happened so I want to walk right up to him and slap him. Arrrggg!
Hmmm, ah, well, had a fight with Cue tonight. We have that on running joke and he also likes to prank me. Now, tonight we had seafood for dinner and he came over and started putting prawny fingers all over my neck. So when he came back from the kitchen I had tomato sauce on my hand and attacked his shirt. In retaliation he grabbed me and forced sauce on me (Tom helped, arg) and more prawny stuff on my hair. I’ll get him for that, I swear.... (insert evil laugh here)
Speaking of evil, I saw Star Wars tonight. It was actually pretty cool. I cried, so that’s a good advertisement. Cue and I sat together and we shared my smuggled peanut butter sandwich during the previews. He makes the best sarcastic remarks, he’s cool. Again, slight crush but old enough to be my dad and he’s attached to someone. I don’t do that sort of thing.
In the crush department, Bull still finds me annoying but there’s an element in his teasing that’s playful and cute. Don’t know what the hell’s going on. As for the cute tutor, I was the only person who got only nice comments on my oral presentation marking sheet and he smiles at me with this look of , I don’t know, something that says ‘she’s cute’ in a fuzzy way. I don’t know... maybe I’m just imagining it.
I have to go to a fancy dress party by the college where I live as a character from Toy Story 2. Blah. I’m gonna be the cowgirl, even though I’ve had suggestions of the slinky dog(?) and the etch-a-sketch(again ?) . Whatever... I don’t really see myself as a slinky anything.
Addicted to Joss Weadon’s Firefly. Its an awesome program by the guy who did Buffy and its like a space western. It only ran a short while but it was cool. Check it out if you can.
Oliver got a job and decided to call and tell me. Problem was, I was with Jay when it happened. Oooops. Thank God he was busy with his music video and didn’t find out my long distance boyfriend was on the line. Mum said this would happen, doesn’t it bug you when mum’s right? Oliver accused me of having smoked weed because I hang with Jay’s friends who do it. I was very annoyed, to put it nicely and without the language I used with him. I will never try drugs. I’m high enough just as I am and loosing control of myself sucks(as we have found out through the Great Falling Off Bench Saga of 2005 and the Dreadful MrM Ordeal Of Early May). Never again. Until, of course I get depressed again and then I’ll probably do it again and have the same dumb shit happen to me. Errrrr. Maybe I should shoot myself now?
Well, that about sums up my last few days, hope it amused you somehow and until we meet again please remember:
Reincarnation does not give you an excuse to act like a pig in THIS lifetime...
Good things happen to those who wait... for a really good shot with their semi automatic weapon when hunting down those old boyfriends,
May the force be with you,
Tiger5

Hey all,
Just a line or two to say I"M STILL HERE!! Just bloody tired and not wanting to write another word. Finally finished my essay and tomorrow night will start another blog to tell you everything you never wanted to know about my sordid business.
As a preview:
Why was there a guy leaving my room at 3am?
Why did I have to run outside the house, away from
Jay,when I got a phone call on my mobile?
Why am I writing like its a muder mystery?

All will be revealed! Except the last one, its taken as read that I'm nuts.

Check it out! I have friends now!! Blog community friends! Bogie and ianthorpe are now officailly my friends!! I am so happy! Thank you to ianthopre for extending such a nice offer and to Bogie for accepting mine! Me so happy!
Ok, I'm off to bed. Have a nice night!
And remember,
If it looks too good to be true, its probably just green.
Wishing you the very best in life, love, sex, money and Indian curries,
Eat drink and be merry, for tomorrow we diet,
Tiger5

Here's a picture I got off of Jay. Its got writing whch is small so click on it to enlarge it, ok? Its funny and worth it!

Hiya!
A special hello to my stalker,just a joke-read the comment from Puffthemajikdragon on my post What The Fuck. You are going to give me a big head, babe but thanks for the comment. What The Hell Was That All About is going strong at 1478 hits now so if you actually are my stalker isn't your wrist getting tired now? From all the clicking? Whoops, sorry, that's what happens when I stay up way tooooo late: bad inuendo. Please forgive me.
Well, Jay finally went home at 3am. He was angling to stay the night, making semi-serious 'but what if I crash the car on the way home' jokes. Not funny. At all. We finally had the politics talk which never goes well for me. Tom hated my political leanings enough to put it on the list of things he hated about me/reasons we shouldn't be together, along with my knife collection and my expansive use of the words dude and man which I have toned down slightly for the sake of my own sanity, no-one elses. So Jay went schitzo for a long period over which I severly had the urge to cut myself again(sorry Frenchy, I know you told me to call if I thought that again but it was late and I couldn't just make a call while I had company...)I didn't do it thank god, I really want to be over that shit. I told Jay how I felt about you know, being uncomfortable physically with him and everything but it had little to no effect, really. Guys are all alike. He did go a bit quiet and then say that if that was so he felt like he'd forced himself on me a times. I didn't want to reply really but when he asked me to I told him he was better than most guys in that sense but I don't really believe it... I feel like I put up with a lot of stuff from him because he never let me feel like I could tell him no. I tend to do what's expected of me and I really shouldn't in this particular arena, huh? Let's get off this topic.
Damn I'm tired. 3am yesterday, 4am tonight. I don't think I'll be able to function tomorrow, much less finish my assignment...
I'll write again soon but I am really to sleepy to be funny or interesting or to type properly...
Sorry. Tomorrow night I'll be back. I swear. Gez, I don't even know if that's a threat or a promise...
Anyway,until then, remember that it was only called film noire because the cinema was dark...
If your wondering about the title of tonights blog it's a joke. The answer is that one of its legs are both the same. Lame. I know. Its late,I'm tired. If you want entertainment that's acually funny then I could reccomend some sitcoms and one very interesting drawing...
Best wishes for fulfilment, enlightenment and peppermint choc chip,
Tiger5 :D

And just for all those very happy Star Wars fans out there, in celebration of the Sith movie...

Here is an image I made for a book I never finished writing because it was crap. But the cover is weird and slightly funny, if you tilt your head to the left and squint...

Hello all!
Hows it all going?!?!?! I'm in a slightly good mood because even though Bull still declares that I am annoying beyond all measure I am winning him back from this absurd idea slowly but surely... its like finding sly ways to trick your dog into coming close enough to the bath water without actually suspecting theres going to be a bath.. so in other words its bloody hard and theres a chance you'll get very wet or hurt. Which tonight was a perfect example of... Bull and I were arguing as usual, playing silly buggers and running around in the rain throwing shit at eachother(I know,it does sound a lot like primary school love, doesn't it?) and because he won a particular bout of stupidity(by dumping my room keys in the bin.Twice.) I threw a cup of luke-hot water on him. At which point(my fault) things got violent and he painfully wrenched out my shoulder, elbow and two fingers with some complicated twisty thing... He felt guilty. Which is interesting since he relishes his mean guy role. Although as we sat around till 1am he got nicer and more talkative and we eventually had fun. God, he's so obstinant. He's like Oscar the Grouch only not green and without a trash can... But he is unreasonably cute. Artists hands(I know, the hands again) and great hair. Plus he has this cute smile and this evil, bad boy thing happening. Its one of those situations where the girl wishes that this mean guy would choose her as the only person to whom he is nice... That is my goal and I can just here you say 'Oh for christ's sake, don't be such an unrealistic prat'. But a girl can dream right? I know he says he hates me but theres this glint in his eye when we talk and he's beggining to care about my feelings. I'll win him over one day. Just wish me luck, he'll be a tough nut to crack.
Jay has changed his mind about being friends. He said last night during a humorous argument about me having an opinion that he was 'going out with' the wrong girl. AKA me.WHAT THE? I was still under the impression that we were sudo-friends. Arg. Why can't I find middle ground between guys that don't like me and guys that want be a couple five minutes later? Or married. Yes, that's right: married. Oliver wants to marry me!! He has the ring designed in his head. He actually thinks of himself as metaphorically married to me. Say it with me... WHAT THE FUCK?!?!? He's talking about proposing at the end of this year then we'll move to Canada when I finish my degree. I'm not marrying him! Even if he did say he had some kind of sexual surprise for me when I see him. Actually, that's a good reason never to see him again.Not that interested. Is it too much to ask of the PLAN(created by God or whoever to justify whatever happens on this midday game show re-run called life) to find a guy who I can feel comfortable in bed with? Geez, I'm only nineteen, I shouldn't be this disillusioned yet. I've only slept with 2 people, I should give it time. Jay might be a great guy, funny, smart, good cook, but I can't feel comfortable with him in a physical sense. He's saying we really click and we do but in terms of making out I just wish he'd leave me alone. But then Tom was the only guy I'd ever had come near me without feeling homicidal or uncomfortable. Strange.Before him I'd usually hit, stab(a ball point pen, nothing too sharp)or punch anyone who came near me with intent. Tom was different, it felt different and that's why it was easy to have so many first with the guy. Its strange how attraction works, but if you asked me to go near him now I'd almost throw up. Literally. We tried our relationship one more time and being near him, kissing him, made me physically ill. That's how it goes...
My long standing joke with Cue about us having a one night stand and him being too drunk to remember and never call me after caused him to call me and say 'hey, honey just thought I'd give you that call'.I didn't know the number on the screen. I was mildly freaked out. But once he told me it was him I simply wrote down the number and sent him back a message: the chorus to the Offspring's I Want You Bad. Heheheheh. I am so immature...
I went shopping the other day on my uni-free day and was accosted and asked by Roma's not-friend Jane(after Jane Austen because her name is a character of one of her books)to move out of college and live with her. EEEEKKK! HELL FUCKING NO! She's strange and manipulitive and possibly a lesbian... I'd rather move in with Attila the Hun... at least I'd know which way he swung.
Hmmmmmm, what else has happened? Why am I asking you? Whatever...
I hope ya'll used the link to the llama song at the albino black sheep sight! It is truly hilarious if slightly weird as all the stuff at albino black sheep is... those guys rule.
Have you seen Star Wars yet? A LOT of people I know went last night at 12 in the morning... that's dedication.
I got my oral assessment mark back already and I got 85/100. I am super pleased with this result! and feel extra smart and talented because this was my first attempt at speaking in public and I'm dead scared of it so both Oliver and I am proud of me. It made my heart go all gloopy and melty and shit when he said he was proud of me... then the guilt factor set in... oh well.
Ever seen that movie Memento? Awesome but it fucks with your brain like Freud never could.
Anyway, I think that's everything so far... plus its late and I'm tired so I'd best be off to bed before I fall asleep in my swivel chair, fall off and horribly kill myself... or something.
Thanx for checking out my blog today, and remember you may technically be able to swim down a whale's aeorta but just think of the dry-cleaning bill...
Being normal means never getting to say 'Remember that, it may save your life one day', mean it and creep people out,
Till we meet again please walk on the sunny side of the street, keep both your arms inside your depression at all times and take all of your crap from under the instant coffee maker when you exit the bus,

Candy kisses wrapped in paper,
Tiger5

Hold on a minute...
This afternoon I checked my page views. A rather modest 200something.
Only a short while later I checked again because I am vain.
What on GOD'S GREEN FUCKING EARTH IS GOING ON HERE?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
Or to be more spacific...
How the hell did I get over 1100 page views in one evening?????
More precisly it was 802 or something in one evening but the total is 1100 and I am SHOCKED beyond all medical, papal or chocolatly help...
THANK YOU ALL SOOOOOOOO MUCH! I am humbled and crazed and are all my friends loging on numerous times just to make me happy?
Ok, I'm still not breathing properly but that's ok...
Could someone PLEASE give me a possible reason for this sudden EXTREME increase in foot-traffic through my site???? I am happy to hear any suggestions.... My satanic pull or boredom will not be excepted because it is stupid and mean and I know where you live...
Check out the Llama song at the albino black sheep website. Its awesome. I won't spoil the plot except to tell you... its about a llama...
Some days go better than others and today(oh wait it's 16 past 12 so its tomorrow already) was awesome. Good speech, cute tutor smiling at me, Bull finally decided to be nice to me, my hair didn't frizz and 1100 people have visited What The Hell Was That All About? in the first 11 days of its life!!! OH MY GOD! Sorry, relapsing into shock... I need chocolate... or alcohol...or something...
Well, thanks again, I am severly hopeing that it was not an error and instead I actually only got 8 hits today not 800... that would be embarassing and silghtly sad... not to mention shattering to my ego... Because I have been under the illusion for the past few minutes that my sordid and boring egotistical monologue was of some intense importance to some very
a)bored
b)weird
c)strangely intellectual
d)drugged
e)all of the above
people out there and that felt pretty good. Maybe someones play a joke... I don't know. Thanks anyway.
Well its late and I'll be bumming around tomorrow because I am a bum and I'm lazy and I'm going shopping with no money instead of working on my essay...
Have a nice night/morning/afternoon/lunchbreak/quicky/lifesentance/blind-date/root-canal etc.
Remember that there is only no 'i' in team because the english language is fucked.
With love and bagels,
Tiger5

This was actually supposed to come before the last post What The Fuck but an unavoidable technical error(translate as 'I am stupid and not at all technically aware therefor dumb stuff happens and I look like a moron'- oh hey, that's why I got so many hits)has caused this post to appear out of sequence.
This is the link to Albino black sheep. The llama song is in the flash files section. PLEASE go there...

Go there now

It is my gift to you.

Hidyho!
How ya'll doin'?
I gave my first ever oral presentation today. I did it on Bullying causing teen voilence, like as in bullying victims commiting school shootings. I was so frickin' scared but I got up there and could hardly believe that all the right words were coming out of my mouth in the right order! I was SHOCKED! I am not, apparently, completly stupid. Weird...
What's hardest about this class is that the tutor is absolutly gorgeous! He has the most amazing personality(uses these long words and has a funky sense of humor), these perfect hands(hands turn me on, can't help it),beautiful hair and this orgasmic sudo-English accent. Today he said recalcitrant and I almost died. I could listen to that guy read a bus time table... He's also a very nice person which is what I look for first but seldom find completly.
Jay is dropping by tonight, don't know why... Nice to see him , as it always is but we were going to meet up tomorrow night anyway so it's just a bit strange. Cute also.
The title is for Bogie because she's not named Bogie for her love of golf ; the title is a line from a Bogart movie. Maybe Bogie can tell me which one, because I'm thinking Casablanca but I know I'm wrong... I'm actually a little worried that that's not the correct quote.. oh hell. Sorry, Bogie, if its wrong. Feel free to correct me, hon.
Can't find my Dean Martin CD anywhere... fuck it. I deathly want to hear 'Return to Me'...
I'll return to you in while,finish this blog.. I just have stuff to do...
Back Soon...
Back now. Had to renew some books at the library.. I already have a thirty dollar fine for overdue books.. they charge a dollor a day per book. It's awful. Definitely am not telling my parents about that... or about how my $160 portable CD player go run over by a four wheel drive...ooops.
Well actual work beckons and if I'm spending all tonight hanging out with Jay I better do some work NOW. Ugh.
Hope you all had a great day/night,
And remember...
Just because butterflies taste with their feet doesn't mean you are allowed to, at least in public...
If she knew why your mum wouldn't actually have used 'because' as a reason... she also doesn't know EVERYTHING.But don't say it too loud...
Shake your tailfeather,
With luv from Tiger5

Yo,
How is everyone? Good, I trust...
Well, after being called a freak by Tom (see last blog) I decided to stop being a doormat and left a very impowering voice message for him. I said do you have a problem with me? Why are you ebing snippy?Did I do something to annoy you(please god don't tell me you know about MrM)? He popped around way too early in the morning to say its just his way of dealing and then left for work without so much as an I'm sorry.
Ok. So I was still asleep at this point so I stewed about it all day and finaly left another message(how brave am I? Don't answer that, I don't want the answer). This time I said just because that was the way he was dealing with it didn't make it right and he was being mean and I didn't deserve it and that it made me cranky that he offered no apologies. GO TEAM!
Then he popped round to say he was sorry, that he didn't realize he was being mean and that he felt like it was like when your in kindy and you make fun of the girl you have a crush on. OH DEAR GOD! And I thought I knew how to make things complicated...
Didn't get my essay done this week but I have an extra week to finish it and I hope that I don't just do what I did before and blow it off to eat and write my blog...
Frenchy checked out my blog and she said I could say to you all that she loves me and misses me!YAH! Ditto girly and I will come see you ASAP.
Ever seen The Notebook? Awesome movie. Saw it this afternoon with Dutchess and we did the girly thing and cried our eyes out. Our friend Roma came by and almost left again because he didn't feel like hanging around with a bunch of crying chicks. But the movie was almost over so he only had to suffer a few dying sobs as the credits rolled. A word to all the men out there: you know how you can't ever tell what women want? Well, we want the guy from The Notebook. We want Noah; mister persistance, mister I'll do and be anything for you, never give up on you, build you a house, buy you paints, put flowers on your pillow and love you until you die. See, we don't want much....
Remember how I said I had to go get my pants out of the dryer before I forgot? I forgot. For almost twenty four hours. Oh well, they were still there so all is good.
Well, I better get to some serious work...
Here's a picture of my dog and I to end on, I can't think of anything weird or witty today... except that I wish someone had told me Elton John was gay....

This is to say hi to my besty Frenchy who should be checking out my blog sometime soon... HELLO!
Duchess called late tonight at a bit past twelve thirty to tell me all is now well with her man. Like I said before it was all totally taken tooo far... nothing was really wrong. Anyway, she's all happy so that's good
Tom is still a dickhead, as usual, tonight called me a freak at dinner. Hey,BITE ME. I am who I am and I ain't going to change for some self-absorded pilot wannabe with a bicycle and wyle e coyote poster who talkes baby talk and draws faces on his food with tomato sauce...
I hate being like this but I'm going to get a loan from my folks to go visit Frenchy for the weekend sometime soon...which will ROCK since I haven't seen her in AGES. CHOCOLATE, CHAT AND COOKIE DOUGH!!! The only thing beter than a good friend is a good friend wth cocolate...:P
Signing off now,
If at first you don't succeed, then give up. Eat choclate and sit on the couch.
Best wishes for your day, may it be like shortbread:sweet, dry and good with a cup of tea
Tiger5

Here's an edited phot of Frenchy and me. I am just weird for having done this. take me away and lock me in a nice white room with out photo editing software

Hey all,
Nothing has happened. At all. But this is the extent of all i have to say:
I'm going to the club with J on Wednesday(that reminds me- have to go get my good pants out of the dryer. I washed them to wear on wednesday but if I don't watch myself I'll leave them in the laundry until wednesday which has been known to happen...) Oliver called yesterday afternoon and is apparently not mad but is apparently getting smashed on a regular basis down there in Melbourne...Whatever. The girl who I was jealous of got fired from Oliver's work and he asked if I was happy. NO, I AM NOT. We were good friends, I was just jealous and I hated that she liked him and was trying to get him off me. I by no means wished fo her to get fired. He's a dick for thinking I'm that malicious.
Dutchess is breaking up with her boyfriend because he didn't call her on the day he said he would.. I know, chicks are weird aren't we? She loves this guy and its just an excuse to leave him before he leaves her which is her paranoia from previous relationships. We're hanging out tonight so maybe I can convince her to talk to him or something... Maybe I'll buy her ice cream. That's what girls do in these circumstances, right?
Called Tom to ask if he was ok, because he's been having social anxiety lately and he seemed weird at dinner(all the residents of my college eat in a common dinning room). He's still not over his ex, he said and I shall do my best to quote, "This might be harsh but when I compare what we went through with what I went through with her then she is way further up on the scale. What happened with you and me, well it didn't really effect me that much. Its probably better for you than for me that we're not together anymore because it was a nice distraction for me.". No, Tom that's not harsh, THAT'S FUCKING BRUTAL. So, my wailing for an hour in front of you about what you did to me had no effect on you whatsoever??!?!?! FUCK YOU! He even had the nerve to basically say he missed fooling around with me. I hate this guy. There are not enough four letter words in the dictionary to descride how much I hate him. Especially since he's being mean lately, saying I'm stupid and childish and weird. ARRRRRRRGGGGGG!
Anyway, at least I have made a GREAT new friend. Bogie, my pal who writes the 'Eigth wonder' blog. She is awesome. Thank god, budda, shiva, zeus and allah for cool friends!! Especially my besty Fenchy. She's going to call me tonight so I'm happy. The world is always a better place when she's around! Or at the very least on the other end of the phone.:D
Better hop along to dinner, but the author would like to state for the record that yesterdays blog entitled 'Here comes trouble, oh, wait.. it's just jelly' was named after my lunch which was in fact jelly. I am sorry to confuse anyone, especially CATHEAD whole left a comment regarding said title. I will try to be far more cryptic and strange in the future...
Bye for now, but remember: stop and smell the roses, at least it gives you time to think of an excuse for being late for work...
Life is a highway, that's why people do speed...
Best wishes of sex, drugs, rock'n'roll,and chocolate from Tiger5

Hullo everybody,
Guess who's back? Me, in case you didn't notice. I have had like 165 visits from people to my blog and I would very much like to thank you all SOOOOO much for that. I know its not that impressive (Darkmatters the original blog has had something in the vacinity of 10,000!) But it makes me happy so thank you.
Well, I can't write much about J because he now has the site and name of my blog but he's still awesome and cute. Plus I love his friends... which isn't rare for me really since guys friends sometimes end up liking me more than the guy does... Anyfuck...(J will know I stole this from a film review he showed me but you don't have to know this.. oh, wait...damnit)
Anyone seen Snatch? Unbelievably good movie for something Guy Richie did. But I guess he hadn't started doing stuff with Madonna then so he was still independant and normal and intelligent...
My mum gave me socks for mother's day from my dog(Ricky, not an alias,he's a corgi and I love him to bits). It was nice, if slightly weird...
Theres a weird Middle eastern dude roaming around the campus who is creepily fixated on me... I met him once in the libaray a MONTH ago and he recognised me and followed me around the uni club. I am very wigged out, guys. If I go missing then you'll know why... I've been kidnapped and whisked away to be a sheiks sex slave and to shake the sand out of his shoes...
Oliver still will not return my txts so I am worried and a bit annoyed. Maybe he's sick? Maybe he's DEAD! Maybe his plane crashed on a deserted island with a scary monster on it(familiar, why?)?! Maybe he was kidnapped and forced to understand the meaning of the french words to Lady Marmalade by a purple martian in lime green track suit pants,with no nose and an 'I'm with stupid' tee-shirt?!?! Maybe he's an ASSHOLE!!!! Maybe he gave me the wrong number....
Who knows, who cares.
I should really be working on my essay but I am doing this instead... I am thinking of stalling more by either writing an e-mail to my best friend Frenchy or downloading music. Or both. At the same time. While eating chocolate and singing a Puff Daddy medelly to the tune of Swing Low Sweet Chariot. Or I could just go buy junk food. Hmmmmm, decisions decisions...
Oh, quick tip, if ever a book comes out one day by a guy called Wes Kyle, then BUY IT! Seriously, he's the most awesome creative type and his book will knock your socks off, play with your toes, chop them off and pan fry them! His imagination is crazy and perfect. Put the name aside, he'll publish one day and you thank me.
Ok, the confectionary aisle of the grocery store beckons... and I am its slave. I hope you understand that this quick departure is in no way your fault and that it is no reflection onyour company or you personality. We can still be friends... when I get back with chocolatly goodies...:P
So, have a great day. And remember, just because cat fish have over 200,000 tastebuds it does not make you inferior...
Everything happens for a reason: its because life sucks...
Hugs, kisses and little purple aliens,
Tiger5

Hey ho!
Well, just a quick note to say, how GOD-DAMN AMAZING this new dude is! He's weird and funny and he uses long words! Major coolness factor. He even twirled me out the front of the uni(don't be gross, I mean a dance spin... you and your dirty mind!) We went to the japanese gardens and rock hopped across a creek and I think this could be dangerous to my health because he's really nice and I know somethings gonna give eventually...
I was dancing to Bowling For Soup's song 1985 at the uni club and he was just cute and sang with me and winked at me and I was so pissed off when my friends wanted to leave. But I went anyway, not wanting another episode of flailing arounf half drunk with a stranger...
But I came back a few hours later, on my own because no-one wanted to come with me.I was pissed off because I could have been raped walking up to the bar at 11 at night in the frigging pitch black but no-one cared.Anyway, got there and bought a vodka , looked for him and (miraculously given the crowd) saw him. But being a girl of course I ignored hima and pretended not to see. He was looking for me,he saw me then he 'subtly'(yeah, right) bumped into my shoulder to get to talk to me. So cute.
Well, we talked for ages and I ended up hanging around with him and his stoner friends(who are so awesome its probably illegal) till 1am. Then we had lunch today and I'm falling un-gracfully off the 'all men are bastards and I want to be a lesbian' band wagon. Which is not that bad, until something goes wrong...
Well, there's your daily update of my sordid love life. Actually, the most sordid its got with J is hand holding and tickling... I like that. I don't feel like being a slut at this early stage of my life.
I think my friend Sandy(he's from Saudi Arabia, I know: my wit astounds you)is pissed off because he saw me and J today. Sandy likes me and so I think he's being a guy.. but it would take more camels than his dad's got to get me married off to Sandy to have seven kids in the sand-blown Middle East, no matter even if they do have 600 free to air tv stations in Saudi Arabia.
Anyway, remember to breath, yellow snow is NOT natural and no matter what song is on the radio DO NOT perform air guitar in the car whilst driving...
Challenge everything that's not chocolate covered or dipped in cream,
Tiger5

Finally figured out how to get a bloody image up here!! Who says I'm technically challenged?!?! Practically everyone, actually, but I just do this

Here's me as well as a cool cartoon...

Hey all,
I met someone. The day my boyfriend moves to another state I meet, oh what the fuck let's call him J because he likes Jamaroquai.He's awesome. I've never met a guy like him EVER. He's sweet and weird and cute and he hasn't tried to maul me yet. Kudos for that if nothing else. I'm just wondering what he's going to do to pull my heart out of my chest through a straw? Well, let's just enjoy the ride and in the end we'll experience some new brand of excruciating pain! What fun!
I'll update this post later, I have class, but next I will include a poem especially for my e-mail buddy Bogie!

Ok, I'm back. English lit was not that fun... but I impressed the teacher so all is good.
I forgot to call Oliver before he left home and now he's ignoring all my Txt messages... fine. Whatever. I got someone better..
I was going to include here a poem called The Knife for my friend Bogie who writes here too, I'll find how to include a link here to her stuff because she's awesome!
But I am not posting it because I realize it's creepy and I might wait a while before I post it where everyone can tell I'm strange.
So here is a poem that I wrote that shouldn't offend or scare anyone.. except the guy I wrote it about... This is for Bogie with chuckles.

AN ODE TO YOU

Did I see you when you saw me
Or did I see you first ?
Did we ever really see each other
For who we really were ?
I always saw the other side
That you said did not exist
I’ve known the truth too many times
So I’m , quite frankly , pissed

A fair weather friend
Chased off by fair weathers end
I saw you without your mask
The one you forged by kissing ass
Maybe you saw bad things in me
That’s why our whatever-ship didn’t last
Get over yourself , you useless prick
That stones not yours to cast

You ignored me
I ignored you
We played your stupid game
Then next time I ran into you
Your resolve was not the same
You tried to lay that freakin’ scam
On me , like all the rest
Did you forget I know you ?
How you’re paranoid , anal and repressed ?

I could have been your best friend
Someone to talk to anytime
Now the only things I’ll say to you
Are coming out in rhyme
So what if I didn’t want you
The way you wanted me ?
Were you so strung out , honey
You didn’t see the good friends we could be ?

I made you laugh , and for a while
You forgot to be so old and all alone
And tense and tired like I know
You revel in now I’m gone
I don’t miss you , just so you know
But your sure going to miss me
You’ll never find someone just as mad
As I turned out to be

And when you wanna call someone
To talk about something
Like paint or the Roman Empire
Who you gonna ring ?
Let’s pretend you were in the right
When you ditched me in the snow
So you wont have to think of a friendship
That I guess you’ll never know

This is the last time I will think of you
As I jot down this stupid verse
But I’ll bet you think of me
For better or for worse
Maybe I was wrong , as well as you
I wish I could see it through your eye
But as it stands , I hate you still
Good luck , drop dead , goodbye .

Well that's me for now. I'm sure I'll come up with something for you by tonight but right now I have to go meet J at the Refrectory
Wishing you all wonderful success in whatever your doing today.. if it's homicide just remember that you can hire a woodchipper for the job, but you have to be prepared with enough garbage bags...
Take it too the limit and leave it there,
Tiger5

Here's Bogie's link, am super duper smart and figured it out. Ok, so the button said that's was what it did and I just clicked on it but still, the clicking took practice and precision...
Ok, not so smart.. Bogie told me it doesn't work. Fruitloops, let's try again.

Go there right now!